He draws a parallel with meditation or intoxication: all are forms of “turning off the inner monologue” of self-control. The cuckold enters a flow state of pure observation.
Ultimately, through Baumeister’s lens, cuckolding is less about a sexual "kink" and more about the complex ways humans navigate power, self-worth, and the desire to escape the rigidity of their own identities. roy baumeister theory cuckolding psychology
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Baumeister’s influential (1995) posits that humans have a fundamental drive for social acceptance and fear rejection. Social rejection activates brain regions associated with physical pain. He draws a parallel with meditation or intoxication: